People Share what They want to See

Truth: I debated on sharing this. Some will love and applaud my honesty. Others may unfollow BECAUSE I am honest. The topic is likely not what you think as you start to read. So here it goes!

Life includes it all, both the highlight reel and the down & out. I find it’s best to avoid making assumptions about people based what you see on social media. Life is beautiful, AND life is hard as ever - on some days. People share what they want to see.

The backstory: Saturday was a beautiful day. Our family went to the Fair and we enjoyed each other’s company. Sunday was a beautiful day too, except for one-little-thing. Sunday included much, much physical pain. After we got home late Saturday night, once I got still, my body did what it seems to like to do. It delivered blows to every joint that felt like they were exploding, held muscles in writhing spasms, and made every part of my being feel like it couldn’t move. I’m not talking about the regular “worked and worn out” pain we all tend to experience. That, we all know will fade quickly after a good night’s rest. You see, to put it simply, I have some bone & ligament issues in my feet and ankles, “some” auto immune conditions (I won’t go in to the list of those today,) and oh, let’s remember to included the human barometric pressure system that detects weather changes, like the Thunderstorms in Texas Sunday evening. I pray you never have to know any of these pains. 

I’ll share with you a snippet of my recouping day in this picture. Look closely. For starters, you will see a couch lounger to the left, a blanket, a trusty sidekick (Spike the “Big Clifford-like” dog) beneath me, some of the bottles of medicine, a cup of ginger tea, a water bottle, an blue Ozark cup (with alkaline water in it), school work atop a lunch box, a basket full of laundry to be put away, and the glow of the tv with the Cowboys versus Eagles football game. What did you focus on first? I know what I did.

Auto-immune condition(s) suck, and they aren’t always brought on by what you might think they are. They are more common than you think. They all tend to look different. Personally, I tend to not “fit in the box” of answers according to my doctors. No matter the reason, they are no fun. Even still, it could always be worse, and is for others.

The Don’ts: Don’t pity someone, pray for them to be better. Don’t judge someone, because you don’t know what they live with when the door closes. Don’t make assumptions someone is fine because they are a “strong person.” The truth is, you don’t know what others deal with behind closed doors...with their immune system/overall body / mind / heart / fill-in-the-blank. I know, that’s probably not what you expected to read.

I share this not looking for sympathy. I share because I would urge you to avoid comparing or “score boarding” your pain to another’s. Both beauty and pain are in the eye of the beholder anyway. Remember, besides Jesus being the answer, you don’t always have the solution. Sure, help to find one but don’t assume you have all the answers when you’ve never experienced the “season.” I say look at someone before you speak. What do you SEE? You might be surprised. Be the type of person you would want talking to you in the event you have your own kind of bad-day. 

If you happen to find yourself in the position where you are the one having the rough day, even if after having a great day, KEEP GOING. It doesn’t matter if you can’t explain it to another person or not. You don’t owe them an explanation for taking care of yourself. Be kind. Speak love. Be real. Talk to God about it. Be YOU 24/7 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week). It WILL get better. This too shall pass.

Please know I speak from experience. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g changed for me once I had thyroid cancer removed and radiation completed in 2012. Surprisingly, I didn’t bounce back. After several years of putting the needs of others ahead of my own, both leading up to and after I found out I had cancer, I watched my own health further worsen. I developed new auto immune conditions I didn’t have beforehand. SO many times I wanted to stay in bed. I needed to stay in bed, but I “couldn’t let them down.” I caught flack when I did try to take a rest day. Figuratively speaking, I pushed through, trying to keep “the show running” no matter what. I felt I wasn’t living up to expectations otherwise. It cost me. You know who the responsibility rests on for all of that? ME.

This year in 2019, I have done a much better job at saying “no, thank you,” & “not today.” I have had more freedom to do so as well. If I’m honest, I still hate saying no. I want to help. Foolishly, I accepted a heavily involved volunteer roll I was asked to do out of need, because I didn’t want to say no. I should have said “not this time, thank you for thinking of me.” Yes, I will honor my commitment until the role is complete. Once it has been fulfilled though, I will say “no, thank you.” I owe it to myself, my husband, my kids, and even to God. Yes, God. I need to give my very best to Him. How can I do that if I am not taking care of me the way He wants me to be? I have an amazing husband and two incredible children because of Him. I owe it to Him. I owe it to myself. Take care if you so you can take care of others. That’s the real “self love.”

Until next time... ~Nikki Smith ~